If he is scared of commitment and you're ready for it, this is what you have to do!
At some point in one’s life, dating and being in a relationship would no longer be enough. That is the point where you become ready to take your relationship to the next level, to tie the knot. The problem that usually arises out of this often times is that partners do not have the same timing, and that conflict of timing usually puts a lot of strain on the relationship.
An ex who texts you could be frustrating to
deal with. But have you ever wondered why he or she could be doing it?
The ultimate goal for many relationships is commitment. Even those who date in the beginning just for fun would usually end up with a desire to settle down, get hitched… marry.
At some point in one’s life, dating and being in a relationship would no longer be enough. That is the point where you become ready to take your relationship to the next level, to tie the knot. The problem that usually arises out of this often times is that partners do not have the same timing, and that conflict of timing usually puts a lot of strain on the relationship.
On one hand, there is a partner [usually the
woman] who thinks that there is nothing more to do than to get married.
To her, a lovely 2-year-old relationship like the one she has is mature
enough to progress into a marriage. There is love, care, compatibility
and all there is to see. There is no need for a delay any longer.
On the other hand, the other partner [the guy
most times] wants to wait. His timing still allows him to wait a little
while, say one year or two. There is no need to rush, he believes. The
relationship is good, but the conditions for marriage, especially the
financial aspect, has to be perfect. Life is beautiful. He has a lovely
woman to whom he is dedicated, he has all he needs, but thinks he still
requires just a little more time before he moves into marriage.
In summary, she is ready, he is not.
No time wasting
The truth is that situations like this happen
all the time, especially between partners who have been dating for over
two years or more. In some other cases, you don’t even have to date that
long before you feel ready enough to take the next step.
Communication is one way to deal with this.
When you see no reason why you both shouldn’t marry and yet he keeps
dragging his feet on commitment, you have to ask what the problem is.
Reason with him and see what his reasons are.
Then decide if those reasons are logical and reasonable enough to
warrant the delay.
Because men have been known to lead other women on
for so long while planning to marry another, you would need to decide
whether you have enough trust in him, and the luxury of time to wait on
him; or if you think he’s just unduly wasting your time.
It is very difficult, but far better to move on from the undue delay and the uncertainty rather than sticking there when your real desire is not being met.
Give him an ultimatum
When that time comes and he is not willing to take
the plunge with you, one way to let him know you are not messing around
is to give him a deadline to make up his mind.
This is not desperation. It is taking charge
of your life and happiness. If your maximum time to date is one and a
half years and it’s been over that time and he’s not making moves to
commit, you have to let him know that he has six months to make up his
mind. If after six months, he’s not saying nothing, be ready to move on.
This is necessary because of guys who are only
looking to waste your time. There are also some who have no qualms
proposing but just need that prodding to do so. Most importantly, it is
called taking charge of your life.
But be sure that you are asking for commitment
from a man who really cares about you, someone with whom you have a
good friendship and relationship. Make sure you are asking for
commitment from him for all the right reasons and not because you are
being pushed. If you are really not ready, no need to force it, no
matter how long the relationship has been. Ensure you are doing this on
your own terms.
Lastly, be mentally prepared to move on if he
chooses to not propose at the end of six months. If you are not ready to
walk the walk, please don’t talk the talk.
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